The Troubles of Cellphones
by Tobi'sgoodgirllovesSasuSaku
Summary: Sakura and Sasuke are home alone and trying to get busy, but like anything there's a snag. Who knew cellphones could be so gosh darn annoying at times like this? SasuSaku


**A/N: Hey everyone! GG here, with another pointless, crackish oneshot. Except this one was thought up of while my dad was driving me home from school and I had my cell phone on me. Also, it's a wee bit AU and OOC, so leave now if you don't want to read it. So now, enjoy the disclaimer before the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, all ninjas would have cell phones. Because let's face it, situations like this would be abundant and hilarious!**

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"So, you're mom's working late tonight?" Sasuke asked Sakura as she opened the door to her house.

"Yep. And you've definitely got nothing better to do?" Sakura asked as she stepped inside.

"Positive," he said, following her in. She closed the door behind her and turned to face him.

"Good," she said, and brought him down for a kiss. He smirked, all the while wrapping his arms around her waist while she did the same to his neck. Just as they were about to deepen the kiss though, Sakura's phone went off, causing the two to break apart.

"Let me get this," she said, answering her phone. "Hello?"

"_H-hi S-Sakura."_

"Hey Hinata! What's up?"

"_W-well, I w-was wondering about h-how I should act w-with N-Naruto tonight on our d-date."_

"You finally got a date with him?! Go Hinata! Let's see…well, it's Naruto, who's pretty much a decently acceptable person by social standards. I say just be yourself, since he probably asked you out based on just you being yourself."

"_T-thanks Sakura."_

"No problem Hinata! Talk to you later, okay?"

"_Okay. Bye."_

Sakura shut her phone and put it back into her pocket. "Now, where were we before that little interruption?" she asked coyly. Sasuke smirked at her as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"I believe we were somewhere along here," he said, and then proceeded to kiss her again. He licked her bottom lip, asking for entrance to her mouth. She opened her mouth for him, and just as they were about to start doing the tongue tango, Sasuke's phone went off, causing them to break apart again.

"Damn phone," he mumbled as he answered it, causing Sakura to giggle. "What?"

"**Oi teme! Where should I take Hinata out for dinner tonight?"**

"How the hell should I know? It's not like I'm the one taking her out."

"**Well, where'd you take Sakura-chan out on your first date?"**

"…"

"**Don't tell me you two just sat on the couch making out."**

"Hn. What makes you think that?"

"**Because everyone knows that when you think that nobodies looking and she's turned around, you stare at her ass for as long as it takes for her to turn back around. And if she's a little preoccupied, you stare at her chest!"**

"That has no evidence and you know it."

"**Whatever you say teme. I'll just make sure to have Kakashi-sensei drop off a few Icha Icha volumes for ya so that you can be 'educated'."**

"Naruto."

"**Yeah teme?"**

"Bye."

"**Hey wait! You didn't answer my ques-"**

Sasuke shut his phone before Naruto could continue, face having a slight pink tinge to it. He turned back to Sakura, who was staring at him like he had another head. "What?" he asked.

"Are you…blushing?" she asked him, a trace of amusement evident in her voice. He turned his face away from her, bangs trying to cover the slowly growing blush. "You are! Mind telling me what Naruto said that made you this way?" she asked innocently.

"Hn," he said, and crashed his lips back onto hers. Their tongues began fighting each other for dominance, with Sasuke slowly winning. Just as he was about to though, Sakura's phone went off again. They pulled apart, both a little red in the face as she answered it.

"Hello?"

"_Oi forehead!"_

"Nice to hear from you too Ino. Now what is it?"

"_What should I wear tonight on my date with Sai?"_

"What about that green dress you wore for that one party last month?"

"_Nay, I need something a little hotter than that."_

"Okay then, how about that black dress that you got last week?"

"_You mean the one with the little bow right in the middle of the chest area?"_

"That's the one."

"_That's perfect! Thanks forehead!"_

"Anytime Ino-pig! Bye!"

"_Bye!"_

Sakura closed her phone shut, placing it back in her pocket. She turned to look at Sasuke, who was staring at her. "What? It was a very important call."

"Sure it was," he said, smirking at her. She pouted, causing his smirk to grow even bigger.

"Stop smirking at me," she said, annoyance slightly evidence in her voice.

"Why don't you make me?" he said coolly. She walked up to him, faces only a few inches apart. He saw that her eyes held a fire in them that usually meant that she was going to put up more of a fight.

"I will," she said, and brought him in for a kiss. The tongue battle began yet again as she fought back with twice as much force as before. Somehow though, Sasuke still managed to come out dominant as he pushed her back to the wall, smirking as she moaned quietly. Just as he was about to wrap her leg around his waist, his phone went off. They groaned as they pulled apart, allowing Sasuke to answer it.

"Hello," he asked harshly, hating to have been disturbed.

"**Hey Ice Bitch."**

"What do you want Sai."

"**Is that anyway to greet someone who just wants to have a friendly chat?"**

"It is when one of the persons is in the middle of something."

"**Oh, so you're with Ugly then?"**

"W-what makes you think that?!"

"**Because you really don't do anything else besides train, be with her, and hang with Dickless. And since he's on a date with Scaredy and you seem to have great service, it leaves me with the option of you being with Ugly."**

"What'd you want?"

"**I was wondering what I should give Beautiful tonight. We are going on a date, you know."**

"Beautiful? Oh, you mean Ino. I don't know, how about one of those stupid paintings of yours?"

"**Ah, an excellent idea. A beautiful work of art for a beautiful person. Thank you for your help Ice Bitch."**

"Whatever," He said, and hung up on Sai. He then turned back to Sakura, who was looking up at him. "Now back to what we're supposed to be doing." He said, and wrapped her leg around his waist, bringing her back in for a kiss. Sakura groaned as he began to grind into her, tightly gripping his hair. He removed his mouth from hers and began to attack her neck. All of a sudden though, Sakura's phone went off, causing a few choice words to come out of Sasuke's mouth. She sighed, answering it.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Sakura!"_

"Hey TenTen! What'd ya need?"

"_Tell me: should I wear my hair down, or in those two buns I always have them in?"_

"Why do you ask?"

"_Well, I kinda have a date with Neji tonight, and I was wondering what I should do with my hair."_

"Well, maybe you should wear it in two braided loops. You know, like you did that time at the festival?"

"_Oh yeah! Thanks Sakura!"_

"No problem! Bye!" She hung up the phone quickly and shoved it in her pocket. She then turned back to Sasuke who was staring at her impatiently. "You may resume," she said while leaning her head back, giving him a full view of the delicious looking skin on her neck. He immediately went back to attacking her neck with nips and kisses. She ran her fingers through his hair, massaging his head all the while. He picked her up, causing her to squeak and wrap her other leg around his waist. He began moving towards the couch, when suddenly his phone went off. Cursing, he answered it quickly.

"What is it?!"

"**My, aren't you in a bad mood? Not getting anything with Sakura?"**

"That is none of your freaking business Hyuuga. Now what do you want?"

"**Well, I'm taking TenTen out, and I was wondering what I should do with my hair."**

"You're honestly asking me for advice?"

"**I believe so."**

"Fine, here's what you do. Go get a haircut so that you don't look like a chick."

"**How dare you mock the Hyuuga hair! I'll have you know that only the greatest members of the Hyuuga are allowed to grow it long, so to insult it is li-"**

"Don't care, good-bye."

"**I will not b-"**

Sasuke slammed it shut just as Neji was about to go on another rant. He shoved it into his pocket and turned back to Sakura, who was giving him a questioning look. "Don't ask," he said.

"I don't think I wanna," she said, coming closer to him. He closed the gap between them as he lowered her onto the couch, landing on top. He moved his hands up her sides and she trailed hers down his chest, lightly tracing the muscles under his shirt. Her breath hitched when his hand slipped under her shirt and began to move towards her breast. When he was just about to reach it, Sakura's phone went off. Both began muttering curses as she answered it.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, it's Temari."_

"Hey Temari, what'd ya want?"

"_Well, I've got a date with Shikamaru tonight, and I was wondering what theater we should go to for a movie. Got any recommendations?"_

"Uh, how about the one down by Ino's flower shop?"

"_You mean Eega Theater?"_

"Yeah that one. It's got great screen quality, and the tickets there are cheap too."

"_Perfect! Thanks Sakura!"_

"Anytime! Bye!" She hurriedly closed it and shoved it into her pocket. She turned her head, only to have Sasuke begin to frantically kiss her as his hands began to move again. "Someone's a little impatient huh?" she said jokingly when they broke apart for air. She gasped as she felt him cup her breast and begin to massage it, letting her head fall back onto the cushions. Sasuke smirked at the sight of Sakura lying under him, face covered in a blush and lips parted slightly.

"Hn, not my fault. All these stupid calls keep coming in from pretty much everyone," he said as he continued his work. As if on cue, his phone went off, causing him to stop what he was doing and for Sakura to growl in frustration.

"What do you want?"

"**Hey, no need to get defensive Sasuke."**

"Hn. Just tell me what you want Nara."

"**Geez, can't a guy call someone without getting attacked?"**

"No. Now what is it?"

"**Troublesome….Anyway, I was wondering what movie I should take Temari to tonight. Got any suggestions?"**

"How would I know? I don't go to movies."

"**But didn't you take Sakura to one last week?"**

"…."

"**So that explains why that movie review mentioned two people making out when it didn't even have any romance in it. Nice going Sasuke, you distracted the critic."**

"Shut up."

"**Eh, whatever. Guess I'll take her to see that one, since it got such a good review from the critic, minus the part where he mentions you two."**

"Hn. Bye."

"**Bye."**

Sasuke shut his phone, putting it back in his pocket. As soon as he had, Sakura shoved his head back down so, kissing him full on the lips. He smirked; he always did like it when she got impatient. Slowly, so as to tease her, he took off his shirt to reveal a nicely built body, nothing too flashy. He began to remove hers too, only to be stopped by her phone ringing again. Both groaned, muttering as many curses as possible as she answered it.

"Hello?"

"_Hello my youthful blossom! I was wondering if you would do me the honor of going with me to see a movie."_

"Lee, we've been through this. I'm dating Sasuke-kun, and that isn't changing anytime soon. So please, for both our sakes, stop calling me."

"_I will never give up on you Sakura-san! One day, I will win your heart, and together we shall be happily united under the holy sacrament of matrimony!"_

"Whatever you say Lee."

"_Yosh! Until that day, I shall train myself to the best of my abilities and beyond!"_

"If this is gonna result in another tiger wrestling incident, please stop now."

"_No worries Sakura-san! I shall never use such a beast again!"_

"Thank you, that's all I-"

"_I will instead use a lion! They are much tougher to wrestle to the ground! I must go to train now! Good-bye my sweet blossom!"_

"Wait Lee, don-" She heard that he had hung up on her. Sighing, she closed her phone and put it back into her pocket.

"Lee trouble?" Sasuke asked, seeing the expression on her face. She nodded, sighing again.

"He said he was gonna wrestle a lion to try and win my heart this time. I just…ugh." She said, flopping her head against the couch. Sasuke leaned forward until his mouth was right next to her ear.

"I know what'll make you feel better," he said, and thus began to nibble on her ear. She moaned quietly, relaxing as he ran his hands up her sides. He moved away from her ear and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Better?" he asked teasingly.

"What'd you think," she said. They went back to what they were doing before, and soon Sakura's shirt joined Sasuke's on the floor. Sasuke's phone went off right as he was beginning to unclasp her bra.

"God, will this ever end?!" Sakura shouted, frustrated by all the times they had been interrupted so far. "I mean really now, this is freaking ridiculous!"

"Hn," he grunted in agreement, and answered quickly. "Hello?"

"**Hi Sasuke-kun!"**

"Karin, if I've told you once before, I've told you a million times. Stop. Calling. Me."

"**Aw, but I know that you're only saying that because that pink haired slut is there!"**

"No, I'm saying that because I mean it. And why do you hate her so much? Have you two even freaking met?"

"**Probably not, but anyone who has my Sasuke-kun besides me is not worthy!"**

"Look, I could honestly care less who you think is worthy of me or not. Right now, I am trying to enjoy myself with Sakura, so if you could please just leave me alone for the rest of my life, that'd be great."

"**Enjoy? YOU'RE GOING TO SLEEP WITH HER?!"**

"What the-How do you get that from the word enjoy?!"

"**Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun. Everyone knows that when a man says he's gonna enjoy himself with his girlfriend, it means he's going to get down and dirty with her. It's a fact of life."**

"Hn."

"**Well, I won't disturb you. Bye!"**

"Wait, I thought you hated her being with me?"

"**Oh I do. It's just that if this makes you happy, then so be it. I won't fight fate. And if in the process you find out that she isn't the one, well…."**

"Good-bye Karin."

"**Bye!"**

He shut his phone, and saw that Sakura was looking at him. "What? It was just Karin again." He said coolly. She shrugged.

"I kinda figured from the way the conversation went," she said, "What with you yelling and sounding exasperated."

"Hn," he said, turning off his phone and throwing it on the carpet, causing it to land with a dull _thud_. He then looked at Sakura, eyes telling her to follow his example.

"But what if I get an important call," she asked him. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"Judging from the calls you've gotten today, do you honestly think the next one will be important," he asked her. She thought over this, before finally turning it off and throwing it next to his. He smirked as he watched it land next to his, and then turned his attention back to her. "Now, how about we move somewhere a bit more….private?" he asked suggestively, dragging his tongue up her neck. She shivered, nodding that it was fine by her. He picked her up bridal style and carried her towards her bedroom, ready to begin "enjoying" himself.

A few minutes later, a call was received by Sakura's phone, and was instantly put into the missed calls box. If she had been around to answer it, the call would've sounded something along the lines of:

"_Hi honey! It's me, mom. Listen, I'm coming home earlier than I thought, so I should be home in about an hour. Have your work done, and tell Sasuke I said hi. And yes, I know he's there, which is why I'm also telling you to not go too far with him. Remember, it only takes one time to get pregnant! Well, I'll see you soon! Bye!"_

That poor, unsuspecting mother…..

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A/N: Okay….this was odd. Even for me, this was beyond weird. But then again, I did write this at intervals of inspiration, not to mention the ending being done at like 3 in the morning. So, I'm guessing it is to be expected. And for the last few parts, just use your imagination! Anyway, leave reviews and you'll receive a SasuSaku cell phone! See?(holds up pink and blue phone whose wallpaper is a chibi Sasuke and Sakura holding hands) Oh yeah, you totally just want to click that review button now so that you can get this totally awesome phone. Well, until next time, JAA MATA!!


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